Fandom

The Non-Canon Star Wars Wiki

The Sky Guy Paradox

2,817pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

The Sky Guy Paradox states that anyone associated with raising Luke Skywalker inexplicably ages ten extra years which is paradoxical to the laws of arithmetic and common sense casting. This extra decade of aging is probably due to putting up with Luke's whining.

The Known Constant

It's 18. When Luke is delivered by Obi-Wan Kenobi to Owen and Beru Lars (heretofore known as event 1), he is 0 years old. When Luke takes custodianship of R2-D2 and C-3PO (heretofore known as event 2), he is 18 years old. Top scientists have devised the following formula:


y = a2 - a1


Where y is the number of years, a2 is the age of Luke Skywalker at the time of event 2 and a1 is the age of Luke Skywalker at the time of event 1. So y = 18 - 0 which equals 18. This formula has been checked and double checked by Ms. Lipschitz' second grade class, and it's airtight.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kenobi

Event 1 Kenobi had to grow a beard to look older

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 35 years old at the time of event 1.

Obiwankenobi

Event 2 Kenobi gets angry when he can't remember Luke's last name

Obi-Wan Kenobi is 63 years old at the time of event 2.


63 - 35 = 28. 28 - the known constant of 18 = 10. 10 extra years.











Next example is Uncle Owen

Uncle Owen

Owen

Event 1 Owen would still get carded when he shaved

Uncle Owen is 31 years old at the time of event 1.
Oldowen

Event 2 Owen had trouble controlling his own farts

Uncle Owen is 59 years old at the time of event 2.



59 - 31 = 28. 28 - the known constant of 18 = 10. 10 extra years. At this point you should feel a chill going up your spine.








Next example is Aunt Beru

Aunt Beru

116px-BeruWhitesunLars

Event 1 Beru was a piece of ace

Aunt Beru is 25 years old at the time of event 1.
528px-Beru headshot2

Event 2 Aunt Beru pays close attention to a Wilfred Brimley commercial

Aunt Beru is 55 years old at the time of event 2.

55 - 25 = 30. 20 - the known constant of 18 = 12. 12 extra years. The pattern holds perfectly. You might be saying "but Beru aged two extra years". This was likely due to the enormous pressure of raising a family of three on hydroponically grown vegetables on a planet where nothing grows.






800px-Owen Luke

Owen points out all the women on Tatooine that Beru used to be hotter than, and blames Luke

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.