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Schmool

Between the moon boots and the hair, these ladies found Schmool to be irresistible.

Early Life

Storm troopers living room

Schmool shows off his Coruscant apartment, and Princess Sambuca. Before the Dark Times... Before Guitar Hero.

Schmool Flemington was born a poor child in the poorest section of Coruscant. He grew up as a street kid working his way around washing speeders and star ships in exchange for crusts of bread and matches. At the age of 24 he decided to become a stormtrooper in the Imperial Army. Working as a volunteer Stormtrooper allowed him to save his credits to purchase a nice apartment on Coruscant. There he would unwind at the end of the day with his little dog, Princess Sambuca. When Sambuca left him to pursue the Galactic Guitar Hero competition, Schmool went AWOL from the Empire and went to hide in Bespin.

Life on Bespin

Schmool found a new home on Cloud City, Bespin. There, he used his skills which he had acquired as an Imperial Stormtrooper, and honed them after joined Bespin's underground unit of the 365th Lockdown Brigade. Here, he felt at home. He was able to use his ability to steer conversations off course, and deflect any suspicions the denizens of Cloud City may have had about his past. Since Lando Calrissian's administration was a pretty hands-off outfit, the 365th took it upon themselves to carry out vigilante justice. They were largely responsible for patrolling the corridors of Cloud City in order to find unwanted guests, referred to as "trolls." Not to be confused with Ugnaughts (a common mistake made by inexperienced members), the trolls were attempting to overrun Could City and make it miserable for all the regular citizens. The Wing Guard had their hands full with actual crime, so these pests went largely ignored.

In his spare time, Schmool was a ladies' man, and was often seen prowling the hallways looking for hot chicks in unflattering robes. One day, whilst showing off his nifty bouffant and portable action figure storage device to such a pair of giggling young women, Schmool was unaware that passing him by, was a group of people that would change the course of galactic history. He probably would not have cared anyway, since he really didn’t care too much about the fate of the Galaxy. At least not when he was getting his groove on.

Fall of Cloud City

Schmool cloudcity

Schmool's hairy brush with greatness.

Later, while hanging out with his pal Willrow Hood, and drinking heavily from some newly imported Spratch, he learned that Imperials had entered Cloud City. Willrow asked him to help organize the citizens and prepare for evacuation. Schmool's past as a Stormtrooper gave him valuable insights- such as the fact that Stormtroopers always turned left. Even after everyone had been evacuated, Schmool decided to remain behind and try to cause as much trouble as possible for the occupying forces. As his one-man guerilla war dragged on, he began going nuts, and left Cloud City on a stolen Cloud Car to continue his personal journey from nobody to crazy guy.

Life on Tatooine

Schmool ended up on Tatooine, and offered up his services as a troll hunter to Jabba the Hutt, so that he might get closer to the fat bastard. For reasons only known to him, Schmool had Jabba on a short list of "People to Kill" (so short, it was the only name on his list), but he was beaten to the punch by a bunch of other jerks that also wanted to kill Jabba, and likely had better reasons. Schmool was unaware that several people in the palace had been planted there by Han Solo's friends. When one of them went nuts and started killing people, Schmool figured he was in over his head, and tried to get out of there. It is not known for sure what happened to Schmool after the destruction of the Khetanna Sail Barge. He was assumed dead, but his moon boots were never found.

Fraud

800px-Owen Luke

Owen shows Luke his E.T. impression. Luke doesn't know who that is.

Lobot claimed that Schmool was a fraud, and had never actually served as a Stormtrooper. Schmool never responded directly to these accusations, but the stories that he told the various women he met on Bespin showed some inconsistency, and were widely regarded as embellished, at the very least. Even though his credibility was doubted, he was still one of the most successful Ladies' men in the city, as long as you don't count Lando.

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