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Saelt-Marae

Saelt-Marae was a Yarkora who was incredibly difficult to find on the pegs.


Setting the Record Straight

Other wikis will tell you that Saelt-Marae is a conman and a cheat. This is a lie purported by the New Republic. In attempt to cover up Luke Skywalker's heinous mass murder of a Sail Barge of party goers, the New Republic engaged in a systematic character assassination of all known Jabba associates. Even those who survived. Stay here for the straight poop on Saelt-Marae. The truth is the Yarkora male was a champion whistler and bubble gum aficionado who never harmed a soul. The cruelest thing the cow-eyed moop ever did was stick bubble gum in his sister's mustache.
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Saelt-Marae sheepishly asks for more iced tea

The Early Years

Saelt-Marae was aimless in his youth switching from career to career until finally settling in as a glass blower becoming one of the Outer Rim's premier artisans. A shameless Death Stick company, Kah'Mel, illegally used his likeness as their cartoonish mascot. Marae gathered his life savings to sue Kah'Mel, but due to their heavy connections in the Galactic Senate, he lost the case. Many assumed he was complicit in the advertising campaign and he became a pariah. Penniless and broken, Marae headed to Tatooine as so many of the galaxy's downtrodden do.

The Tatooine Years

Once on Tatooine, Marae quickly caught on with Jabba the Hutt as part of the entertainment division. When the Max Rebo Band was on break, Marae would entertain the court with his world class whistling. His stuttering and lisp gave him a folksy every-sentient quality that endeared him to almost everyone. In a moment of comic relief in the otherwise tense atmosphere of the crime lord's palace, Marae foolishly attempted to teach the dim witted Hermi Odle how whistle not knowing his Baragwinian anatomy precluded this. The end result was a front row covered in Odle's saliva. Jabba laughed so hard, he farted.

After Jabba

Saelt-Marae was on the Jabba's sail barge the day Luke Skywalker needlessly blew it up. Fortunately his Yarkoran skin is flame retardant and he merely waited out the enormous fireball. Naked and a bit thirsty, he trekked across the Tatooine desert to Anchorhead where he procured some new duds and decided to settle in. An entrepreneur at heart, the resourceful Marae found financial backing to open up Tatoonie's first Frisbee golf course on the outskirts of the industrial city. The business achieved a medium amount of success which was more than enough to satisfy Marae's meager wants. One day while shopping at Skud's, a thirteen store chain of department stores on Tatooine, Marae attempted to pay by space-check in the express check out. What he did not know was that this was a crime in Anchorhead punishable by death. At his execution, all the soul's he touched over the course of his life showed up in support. The line stretched past Ackmena's Joke Shop all the way to Bill's Memory Wiping and Dry Cleaners. Presiding Anchorman, Ron Burgundy, was so moved he immediately pardoned Saelt-Marae.

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