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Rancor Keeper

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The Rancor Keeper was a fat guy who hung out in Jabba's Palace and took care of the Rancor.
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The Rancor Keeper wearing one of his mother's many head wraps.

Youth

From a young age, the Rancor Keeper dreamed of bein a Rancor keeper. He was born on Tatooine in a small village outside Mos Espa. His mother was a seamstress who specialized in head wraps, and his father was a spacer who spent his time wandering around the city in an elaborate space suit.

The Rancor Keeper's first job was serving food at the Mos Espa Grand Arena. It was this job, and it's free-food policy that turned the Rancor Keeper from a handsome lanky kid, to a disgusting obese kid. When Jabba the Hutt closed the Arena due to lack of revenue, the Rancor Keeper found himslef out of work.

Education

The Rancor Keeper's next job was at a small pet store in Anchorhead. While the pay was barely enough to support himself, he greatly enjoyed working with animals, and hoped that someday he would have the opportunity to work with larger creatures such as Rancors. Unfortunately, Mayor Burgundy, closed the store down after blaming them after the dog he had bought there pooped in his refrigerator.

Fortunately, the Rancor Keeper had made some valuable connections with animal vendors, and was able to be hired by the local sandpeople as an apprentice Bantha handler. While his primary task was scooping up the bantha poop and preparing it for sale to Jawas, he learned a great deal about training and caring for large beasts.

Professional Success

As his apprenticeship neared an end, he noticed a story in the local newspaper about Jabba the Hutt purchasing a Rancor. The Rancor Kepper put on his best head covering, and went to Jabba's Palace to apply for a job as Rancor keeper. While Jabba was looking for someone with experience handling Rancors, he was impressed with the Rancor Keeper's enthusiasm, and his ability to work for next to nothing. Also, the only other applicant for the job was Giran Bacon, who had even less experience working with large creatures.

The Rancor Keeper showed great skill at his job. The Rancor did not run away and remained alive without killing too many people. This was really all that was expected. The Rancor and his keeper developed a strong bond, as the Rancor Keeper gave the Rancor food and water, and the Rancor didn't eat the Rancor Keeper.

The Rancor Keeper also fit in well with the other regulars at the palace. He sold many of his mother's old head wraps to the various skiff guards. He was good friends with the Bacon Brothers, especially Giran, who had been made his assistant.

Due to his weight and poor choice of clothing, the Rancor Keeper was never very popular with the ladies. He developed a strong crush on one of Jabba's dancers, Oola- a green-skinned half-naked Twi'lek chick, when she had a conversation with him and showed an interest in the art of Rancor keeping, but his secret love was unrequited. Malakili had to settle instead for his assistant, Giran. His voice sounded kinda like an old woman's, but a woman nevertheless. His rump was kinda scaly, but Malakili had a terrific imagination. Unfortunately, Giran took this arrangement as a romantic entanglement. Malakili tried to explain, "It ain't like that..." but Giran's hurt feelings made the Rancor Keeper afraid he'd love his one and only lovin' hole, so he played along with Giran's lovey talk.

Captain Lightsaber

Rhe Rancor Keeper's life was ruined when Luke Skywalker showed up at Jabba's Palace. While the Rancor Keeper rarely paid any attention to what was going on upstairs, he occasionally got calls from Bib Fortuna telling him that Jabba was sending something down for the Rancor to eat. Normally, this was disposible guards and bad smugglers, but, on this day, when the trapdoor opened, Oola fell into the pit. Despite the Rancor Keeper's objections, the Rancor made short work of her. Enraged that Jabba would destroy something so beautiful, he vowed to kill the Hutt and steal his Rancor.

Unfortunately, a short time later, the trap door opened again presenting the Rancor with a Gammorean Guard and a guy dressed in black. Though still distraught about Oola, the Rancor Keeper watched carefully waiting for his beast to finish his meal. While the Gammorean barely put up a fight, the human proved difficult to catch, and used weak rock-throwing tactics to lower a gate on the Rancor's head- killing it.

The Rancor Keeper was now beside himself with grief and wept bitterly. Even Giran's comforting hands were not enough to calm him down.

While Skywaler was taken out on a skiff and eventually killed just about everybody, the Rancor Keeper remained back at the palace giving the Rancor a proper burial and wallowing in his own self-pity.

Aftermath

The Rancor Keeper was somewhat satisfied to learn that Jabba had been killed, but left Tatooine in search of another Rancor to keep. While he had no money of his own, he had managed to steal
Malikili Biggs

The Rancor Keeper chats with Biggs at a pegwarmer convention on Coruscant.

several artifacts from Jabba's Palace and used them to secure passage offworld. Taking odd jobs at spaceports around the Galaxy, the Rancor Keeper kept moving, constantly searching for someone rich enough to own a Rancor, and hoping to learn of the demise of Luke Skywalker.

Eventually he gave up his quest and took a dangerous factory job. His primary duty was to superheat rivets used in ship construction. He excelled at this job. After the factory was purchased by Hasbro, he was known as Hasbro's greatest peg warmer of all time. This job too came to an end, when he was replaced as head pegwarmer by Mon Mothma.

Penniless and in poor health, the Rancor Keeper saw a man dressed in black and, thinking it was Skywalker, attacked him from behind. Sadly, this man was just an illusion brought on by alcohol and crippling depression. In truth he had tacked an exposed power coupling which killed him instantly.

Ironically, no one wept at the death of the Rancor Keeper.

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