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Lieutenant telsij

Futz Telsij smugly ponders all the hot chicks he's bedded, while calmly dodging hordes of TIEs.

"Despite what you may think, I am completely unfazed by the incredible multitude of Imperial Fighters swarming around our tiny fleet...Heh, no, I am actually quite alarmed."
-Futz Telsij discussing the Battle of Endor with his R2 unit.

Futz Telsij was a pilot for the Rebel Alliance. He fought in the Battle Of Endor as Grey Two. Karie Neth served as his gunner.

Futz was always being mistaken for fellow pilot Arvel Crynyd, but this was ridiculous because they looked nothing alike.   Besides their facial and height differences, Futz had an extra penis growing out of his left arm.   

Futz was a capable Y-Wing pilot, and kind of a stud.  He is most known for his completely nonchalant approach to battle.  Alliance flight recorders caught a brief conversation between Neth and Telsij as the Rebel Fleet was approaching the Second Death Star.  Neth (who had a secret crush on Telsij) asked him what was his most exciting sexual experience.  At that exact moment, the fleet was swarmed with scores of Imperial TIE fighters that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.  A panicked Neth heard Futz exclaim "There's too many!"  She thought he was referring to the TIEs, but he was actually answering her question.  Futz's composure helped calm his fellow pilots, and they eventually won the battle.

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