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Jawa Football League

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JFL

The JFL Shield, one of the most recognized symbols in the Galaxy.

The ancient Jawa Football League was officially established on Tatooine in the Old Republic year 920 (or 24152 BBY), and enjoyed a very long period of incredible success before finally collapsing under its own weight and then was finally nearly eliminated by the Emperor in the Imperial year 23 (4 ABY). 


Origins

Football had been a popular game on Tatooine for hundreds of years when a loose confederation of teams made up from various jawa clans across the planet formed a league in the Old Republic year 920.  The League gained galactic attention during the 3rd millenium when the League's first major star, Orenth'aa'aal S'impson, or "Jawa Juice", wowed fans across the planet.  Soon after the Juice retired, he successfully crossed over from sports by becoming a well-known holonet commercial actor and then a silly movie actor.  At the peak of his popularity, he was suddenly arrested for murder.  In the "Trial of the Century" Jawa Juice was acquited of murder because of crappy Imperial police work and the famous words spoken by the defense "If the robe ain't filthy, the Juice ain't guilty!"  He was acquitted, but his career was over. 

Expansion

Taking advantage in the huge ratings boost, JFL officials made a hostile takeover of the hugely popular Coruscant Confederation of Rugby in 1613 ORC.  Immediately elitist fans of rugby realized their league was absorbed by a football league, and this made very little sense, but they'd be damned if those filthy little creatures with their stupid helmets were going to ruin their game.  Rugby fans petitioned the Republic Senate to reverse the takeover, but years of corruption and stagnation prevented action.

Eventually, everyone forgot about rugby, and the leauge flourished for thousands of years.

At some point during the 6th Millenium of the Old Republic, the Jawas realized they needed to admit other species into the league. It took a few years to find someone who could compete on the same field as the feisty jawas, but eventually The Nal Hutta Hutt Hutt Hikes signed Fat Slobba the Hutt as an offensive lineman. He was a phenomenal talent, and the Hikes won a couple of championships behind their nearly unstoppable offense. Slobba the Hutt jerseys were a marketing success, outselling those of most other teams' entire rosters. A signed Slobba jersey would probably fetch about 5,000,000 credits on the secondary market today.

Teams of mixed species sprouted on most planets throughout the republic, with some of the more heavily populated planets having multiple franchises. At one point, the JFL had over 850 teams.

Decline

800px-Owen Luke

Owen Lars points to the Dune Sea, where a young Terry Bradshaw failed his spelling tests.

Change was in the air once Palpatine (first name unknown) swept into power, and eliminated the pesky senate. Although he was a fan of the league, his favorite team, the Bestine Snugglebutts frustrated him, particulary due to several inexcplicable decisions made by head coach Herm Edwards.  Another problem was when the entire Death Star Tractor Beams squad was wiped out when Luke Skywalker destroyed the Death Star.  Fed up with the shenanigans, Emperor Palpatine, in Imperial year 23 (4 ABY) finally took a moment from his busy schedule of building giant planet destroying space stations and peeing in laundry hampers to wipe out the JFL teams - "All of them!"  In true Palpatinous fashion, he didn't quite wipe all of them out. The JFL continued quietly back on Tatooine, although it would struggle to regain its popularity for years.


Notable Defunct Franchises

League Structure while in Exile

Although the League hid from Palpatine on Tatooine, the 32 teams that survived maintained their home planet names, in the hopes of one day returning. Here is the JFL as it existed just after Palpatine's death:


Galactic Conference

  • Core Division
  1. New York Goliaths
  2. Duro Douchebags
  3. Coruscant Racists
  4. Fagabeefy Mynocks
  • Inner Rim Division
  1. Croatia Ewok Warriors
  2. Detroit Nexus
  3. Geonosis Meat Slicers
  4. Muunilinst Flatfaces
  • Mid Rim Division
  1. Naboo Jedi Spirits
  2. Rishi Maze Pirates
  3. Corellia Gurrcats
  4. Felucia Fellatia
  • Outer Rim Division
  1. Tosche Station Power Converters
  2. Sluis Van Curly Horned Gundarks
  3. Santa Monica 1138ers
  4. Kamino Aiwhas


Republic Conference

  • Core Division
  1. Boston Traitors
  2. Jundland Nerfs
  3. Mon Calamari Keelkanas
  4. New York Snubfighters
  • Inner Rim Division
  1. Dune Sea Blacksmiths
  2. Bespin Thrantas
  3. Clak'dor Ghhhks
  4. Cerea Aryx
  • Mid Rim Division
  1. Iktotchi City Eopies
  2. Toydaria Tremendous Beings
  3. Kashyyyk Kybucks
  4. Nal Hutta Hutt Hutt Hikes
  • Outer Rim Division
  1. Bestine Snugglebutts
  2. Anchorhead Force Lightning
  3. Bronco Dengars
  4. Mustafar Thugs

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