Detroit Nexus

The Detroit Nexus refused calls to change their logo because they wanted to honor their proud history. What?

The Detroit Nexus were a terrible JFL team.


there was a time when Detroit had a booming economy, and was not the worst place to live in the entire Galaxy. In those days, the JFL decided to place a franchise there. They were called the Nexus despite the fact that no Nexus lived anywhere near Detroit. The team had some immediate success, and became quite popular on thier home planet. The period of success, however, was short lived. As the planet deteriorated, the team fell into a lengthy slump. Many hacks took the opportunity to write lazy articles about how the decline of the planet mirrored the decline of the team, and broke the hearts of the inhabitants. In truth, the team's issues had little to do with the overall economic ruin of the planet, and were largely due to their policy of drafting only wide receivers for a period of 12,000 years. while this strategy showed some promise initially, after a couple of years, the team had to play wide receivers at every roster position. Even after they abandoned this horrible strategy, the team had a really hard time convincing anyone to play there because of all the murder and whatnot, so the hardship continued.


The Detroit Nexus hold several JFL records:

  • Fewest wins in a season: 0 (367 times)
  • Most consecutive losing seasons: 8,499
  • Fewest points in a season: 0
  • Most consecutive games without scoring: 131
  • Most sacks allowed in a single game: 47
  • Fewest rushing yards in a single game: -288
  • Most head coaches fired in a single season: 37

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