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Death Star

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Deathstar

It does death!

The Death Star was a fearsome battle station with a terrifying ability to blow up.

Design

The idea of the Death Star was that a large gun with the ability to destroy a planet had to be encased in something terrifying or else people wouldn't respect it. Also, the Imperial military needed a way to spend lots of cash before the new fiscal year, so that they would not face budget reductions. The spherical shape was thought up by Lamar Hunt after watching his daughter play with a rubber ball he received from a telecom trade show.

Darth Vader was present for it's first planet blowing up demonstration, and pouted until he was allowed to cut the big ribbon with the giant scissors. Commodore Ausphart's final words, as he leaned closer to whisper to Admiral Motti, were, "Some things never change."

Abilities

The Death Star could destroy a planet or a large ship. It could probably destroy a small ship too, but they were harder to hit.

In addition to this, the Death Star was designed to completely explode if anything at all were to happen to the reactor core. For this reason, several routes to the reactor core were left easily accessible. To demonstrate what colossal pricks they were though, the Empire did not make it handicap accessible.

Name

The Death Star was named by Grand Moff Tarkin. Admiral Motti wanted to call it the Planet Blower, but Tarkin rejected that name. When asked what it does, Tarkin responded, "It does death!"

Features and Amenities

800px-Owen Luke

There's no way you could ever blow up one of those things.

The Death Star included several detention blocks, docking bays, and trash compactors and 37 different places where the tractor beam could be disabled. It only had 3 toilets though, which is still more than the Brady house.

The Death Star was home to several restaurants, including White Castle, Arby's, a 100,000 seat football stadium, and a 24-hour seafood buffet that was commonly frequented by Admiral Motti.

Most of the rest of the Death Star's interior was filled with long hallways and elevators, as well as a large storage unit that housed a near-complete set of action figures.

Also, there was a conference room.

Staff

The station carried a crew of 265,675, plus 52,276 gunners, 607,360 troops, 25,984 stormtroopers, 42,782 ship support staff, and 167,216 pilots and support crew. There were also 175,216 civilian crew members, who assisted with everything from running the casinos, to running the 24-hour holonet soap opera channel, to sweeping the exhaust port (which was a bitch to clean, as it extended from the surface all the way into the reactor core). There were also as many as 2,750 tourists on board at any given time, 524 whores, a Jawa Football League team (The Tractor Beams) including coaches and staff, a 3 person comedy troupe, a dianoga keeper and assistant dianoga keeper.

Imperial Personnel

Destruction

Yavin2exploded

Bummer.

The Death Star was destroyed during the Battle of Yavin when the Empire's attempted to confuse the rebels with very poor strategy. Over 1.81 million people were eventually killed by Luke Skywalker with his lucky "Shot Heard 'Round the Galaxy".

Several members of the Imperial command considered evacuating, but were afraid that Motti would call them names if they did.

Several years later, the Empire decided they might as well build another Death Star since the first one worked out so well.

Sequel

The Death Star had one sequel, which was more costly and not as popular.

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