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Darth vader nooo

Darth Vader was the biggest Badass in the Galaxy.



Early Life

Born Anakin Skywalker, Vader grew up on the remote planet of Tatooine. Vader was one of the whiniest, and probably more spoiled kids that ever inhabited Tatooine..............until his son, Luke arrived. Anyway, Vader was played by a very unrelenting spoiled child actor, that eventually grew to be an unrelenting spoiled douchebag.


Vader as stated was spoiled by his mother Shmi Skywalker, because they lived as slaves and were owned my a little hispanic guy named Watto. He treated them like dirt, and therefore they acted like it. Anakin/Vader had no father, and was somehow concieved without his mother having had sex with anyone.......EVER. Which is some what believeable, because she wasn't all that good looking.


After meeting a Jedi Knight known as Qui-Gon Jinn, Anakin was entered into a super pod racer...RACE, and as it was orchestrated, he won, and therefore, was givin to Qui-Gon, by Watto, as prize on a bet that wagered prior to the race .


Something, Something, Darkside

Anakin was dragged before the Jedi council and eventuall Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan convinced Yoda to allow him to be trained as a Jedi. Mace Windu was not on board, but the other council members just sat there, so Anakin was trained.
Vaderchoke
At a young age, he started hanging out with The Emperor, which was kind of inappropriate.

Eventually he married an older woman named Pade. She was apparently not at all wierded out by the fact that she used to babysit him.


At the end of the Clone Wars, Anakin turned to the dark side and threw Mace Windu out a window.


When the Empire happened, Vader Force Choked his way to glory. He was feared by Rebel and Imperial alike, answering only to the Emperor.


Later Life

Eventually Darth Vader was defeated by his son Luke, and decided he might as well throw The Emperor down a conveniently located elevator shaft since he was going to die anyway. A few moments later, he died in his son's arms, and sprayed wet feces out the back of his suit.


He was burned on Endor, feces and all, and then appeared as a ghost to his son. First as an old man ghost, then as a young douche ghost. He then travelled to Tatooine, where he fell down the Sarlacc, played Texas Hold'em with Boba Fett, then went on to create an elaborate Ponzi scheme which stole millions of dollars from toy-buying Star Wars fans.


His last known residence was an apartment in Asbury Park, New Jersey, which he abandoned when it was discovered that Vader was in fact the only surviving Woodstock baby.

Anakin's Lightsabers

Anakin had several lightsabers in his life, before and after his Sith conversion.
AnakinLightsaber AOTC

Anakin's very first lightsaber.

Lightsaber anakin rots

Anakin's second official lightsaber, which went to his son Luke.

Lightsaber mundi

Anakin used this lightsaber during the Battle Of Geonosis.

Darth Vader's Lightsabers

As Vader, he again had several lightsabers.
Vader saber1

Vader's first lightsaber after being stuck in a breathing suit.

Vadersaber2

Vader's second lightsaber, used in his final duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Vadersaber3

Vader's third lightsaber, used in his duel on Bespin with Luke Skywalker.

Vadersaber4

Vader's final lightsaber.

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