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Darth Scraichus
Jerk Longstuff was born on Klaatooine, and found by Darth Gape after he'd already learned much about the Dark Side on his own. He also subscribed to Sith Monthly, a magazine that had several pages of Sith tablature in each issue that taught you how to perform Sith stuff easily.

Already having thought of his Sith name, Darth Scraichus was more than willing to become Gape's sixth apprentice. He lasted almost two years before getting into an argument at a dive bar about whether Nikto and Klaatu were related. He took a blow to the head, and seemed quite fine for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, Gape found him in his hotel room the next morning apparently having died from a subdural hematoma. He was succeeded as Gape's apprentice by Darth Fister.

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