Early Life

Sirhan Wilkes Manson was actually a really nice guy, which was not a quality particularly useful to the Sith plan for Galactic domination and extermination of the Jedi Order. Nevertheless, he was a smart guy and skilled in use of the Dark Side of the Force. He was extraordinarily powerful and happened to be discovered by Darth Filatche while shopping for roughage to feed his pet bunnies. Filatche couldn’t understand why someone so powerful in the Dark Side would be messing around with bunnies, which are powerful Light Side conduits. Sirhan explained that it had something to do with a clerical error at the hospital when he was born. His parents were hideously deformed mass murdering rapist slave traders, which is where he got his Dark Side aptitude from, but instead of being given a rotting womprat in his crib as a toy, he was given a stuffed bunny. He wasn’t quite right after that. Filatche decided to take Sirhan in as his apprentice, and named him Darth Meeen, in an attempt to make him more intimidating.

Powerful Dark Sider

800px-Owen Luke

Owen Lars tells Luke to run a 15 yard buttonhook.

Filatche was impressed with Meeen’s Dark Side abilities, but the bunny thing really annoyed the hell out of him. However, he let Meeen keep his pet bunnies, so as not to disturb his studies. Eventually Meeen had become very powerful in the Dark Side, while simultaneously managing a successful bunny breeding business. He even created a new breed of bunny that had softer fur and a bigger cottontail than previously seen in nature.

After years as a team, Filatche had finally had enough of the bunnies. He couldn’t take it anymore, and realized the only way to ensure Sith succession, was to have Meeen murder him, according to the Rule of Two. Meeen wanted to be a good Sith, but couldn’t bring himself to murder the man who taught him so much. Filatche, beside himself, finally threatened to ignite his pet bunnies on fire, so Meeen relented and killed him with some nice colorful Sith Lightning. But he did it gently, and as Filatche lay dying, Meeen wrapped him in a snuggly blanket and gave him some chicken soup. An annoyed Filatche finally died.

Apprentice Selection

Meeen was sad at the death of his master, but knew it was time to find an apprentice. He arrived at the conclusion that it would be a good idea to hold a holonet competition (complete with public voting) for his next apprentice, because he didn’t want to have to hurt anyone’s feelings by declining their applications.

After much thought, he began advertising extensively in magazines, newspapers, and the holonet. Now, the Sith had been completely secret for hundreds of years since Darth Bane implemented the Rule of Two, but Meeen had enough knowledge of the Light Side of the Force (from caring for his bunny pets) that he knew the Jedi Order would have their judgment impaired by the Sith’s rising Dark Side influence. Plus, he planned on holding the competition on a cloudy day, which would further hinder Jedi awareness.

So Meeen sifted through all of the applicants (the response was overwhelming) and managed to start the competition with 15 highly qualified would-be Sith. He devised several clever contests to challenge the applicants, until there was one winner.   The Happy Bunny Sith Apprentice Competition was born.



In the end, Meeen had his Apprentice, Darth ChuckMc. ChuckMc thought the whole bunny thing was completely retarded, so he finally killed Meeen and all his bunnies.

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