Darth Fagan

Fagan and his trusty lightsaber about to settle in with a nice newspaper.

800px-Owen Luke

Owen Lars points to the spot where he hid Luke's Barbie Doll.

Darth Fagan was a Sith Lord, but not a very good one.  He was from the planet Connectyornuts, which was okay, but kinda dull.  They had some good college basketball teams, but that was the extent of it.  He liked to ramble on about things that interested him, but rarely paid enough attention to realize those things were being talked about elsewhere.  His master, Darth Stooolz, was so annoyed by Fagan, that he killed himself just to get away from him.  Fagan took on a rather nice apprentice by the name of Darth Dismulll.  At first Dismulll and his master Darth Fagan were good friends, and after long days of plotting to rule the Galaxy and setting bunnies on fire, they would snuggle and have s'mores. 

One day Dismulll had found the newest wave of Battlestar Galactica action figures and excitedly tried to tell Fagan about them.  However, Fagan was too busy roasting marshmallows and having pillow fights with his androgenous neighbors to notice Dismulll's recent acquisitions.  After repeatedly attempting and failing to gain Fagan's attention, Dismulll was getting really annoyed.  So in true "Rule of Two" fashion, Dismulll murdered Fagan by poisoning his hot cocoa.  Fagan barely noticed, which infuriated Dismulll to no end.  To this day, Fagan still tries to come back as a Force ghost and haunt his former pals, even though no one ever notices.

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