FANDOM


Snuggie

Members of the Jedi Council enjoying their homemade product.

The Cuddly Blanket Shortage was a terrifying event that nearly toppled the Jedi Order, and the Old Republic along with it.

For hundreds of years, the Jedi Temple was the source of over 80% of all the soft blankets in the Republic.  The Jedi Blanket Weavers were a highly regarded source of the softest and snuggliest blankets.  Workmanship was second to none.  Trillions of beings in the galaxy slept well at night while wrapped in Jedi-made blankets.  In 8436 ORC, there was unrest on Alderaan, which was the source of the wool from which the blankets were manufactured.  A perfect storm of political intrigue, mad nerf disease, and an unusual cold spell on Alderaan led to a scare that there would be a shortage of wool.  Orders for blankets skyrocketed, and the Jedi weavers couldn't keep up production.  In order to meet the elevated demand, they worked overtime.   The Jedi Council quickly realized that in order to pay for the overtime, they would have to cut out the budget for running the Miss Jedi Temple competition.  Obviously, this wasn't going to happen, so the Council halted the overtime pay.  The weavers were forced to reduce productivity, and orders went unfilled.  Panic swept the galaxy.  Beings weren't able to sleep cozily at night, and everyone was waking up the next morning with higher levels of irritability than normal.  Riots broke out, planets caught fire, and JFL games were cancelled.

Riot

People without cuddly blankets get angry pretty easily.

At one point, an angry mob stormed the chamber of the Republic Senate, and demanded government action. They attempted to seize all the blankets owned by the senators. One of the more ornery citizens actually took to the podium and announced that the momentus occasion be commemorated by resetting the calendar to the year 0. This was too much. Quickly, senate guards quelled the insurrection (with some carnage). The Jedi were appalled, and agreed to step up production and shell out the OT pay, but only if the Senate were willing to pass an emergency spending bill supporting the Miss Jedi Temple competition for the next 4 years. The plan worked, and cuddly blankets were pouring out of the Temple in record numbers. Shortly thereafter, the events on Alderaan proved to be of minor consequence, and the fear passed. Blanket production soon resumed its normal pace. You'd think the Jedi had learned their lesson, but their frugal nature wasn't over.
800px-Owen Luke

Uncle Owen shows Luke his vintage CBA-graded cuddly blanket.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.