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Cliegg

Cliegg Lars, who has neither a wife, right leg, nor impressive moustache.

Cliegg Lars was a moisture farmer who lived on Tatooine and had a thing for mail-order brides who used to be slaves. Unfortunately, he did not have a thing for common sense.

Moisture

Cliegg's family's business was moisture. From Anchorhead to Mos Espa, the Lars name was synonymous with high-quality moisture. While he had no formal training or education, Cliegg was an excellent moisture farmer. Cliegg got married to a local woman, and had a son, Owen. Then his wife died. Cliegg was sad, but soon forgot her name. Cliegg and Owen ran the farm together for several years, but then Owen brought up the idea of attending Mos Espa A&M to study moisturenautics. Cliegg initially took offense thinking that Owen was implying that he was better than his father, but he eventually agreed. In order to make up for the lossof Owen's free labor, Cliegg purchased a slave from Watto. With his son gone, Cliegg was very lonely. He beagan sleeping with Shmi, but felt guilty about it, so he gave her her freedom and married her.

A Series of Poor Decisions

800px-Owen Luke

Owen Lars showing Luke Skywalker the pit where he threw Cliegg's body.

"You got a wife, you got a responsibility. If your wife gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f*cking wife!"

-Anakin Skywalker to Cliegg Lars

When Owen returned as a bigshot college man, Cliegg turned over most of the administration of the farm to him. One day, he allowed his new wife to go pick mushrooms in a bad neighborhood by herself, where she was kidnapped by Tusken Raiders. Cliegg hastily organized a bunch of untrained, mostly useless, villagers into a rescue party. Cliegg lost one of his legs in the piss-poor rescue attempt, but most of the other volunteers with no stake in the rescue to begin with died, so he was still ahead of the game. Note to Cliegg: If you want to take on the Sandpeople, it helps to have a Jedi handy. After his one rescue attempt Cliegg gave up and took to sulking around his farm and yelling at his son's girlfriend. When Shmi's son Anakin showed up, he gave Cliegg a long lecture about responsibility then went and rescued his mother himself. Then she died. Cliegg was sad again, but he died a few months later after refusing to let a doctor have a look at his gangrenous stump.

Cliegg's son Owen ended up raising Luke Skywalker because Luke's real parents had their own drama going.

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