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Feldheimer

Chad Feldheimer - Winner, Croix de Osborne

"I thought you might be interested in the security of your shit.  Wait!  Don't shoo..."
-Chad Feldheimer's last words as he was gunned down.


Chad was a pilot in the Rebel Alliance. He flew in the Battle Of Yavin as Red Twelve. R4-D6 was his Astromech.

Feldheimer was known as a bit of a bumbling fool, but his experience as a fitness instructor back home on Fagabeefy 4 seemed to qualify him to fly the Alliance's most advanced starfighter during battle.  Feldheimer approached the Death Star along with his buddies in Red Squadron.  Imperial technicians were attempting to repair the tractor beam which was turned off earlier by Obi-Wan Kenobi.  During his test run, Feldheimer's X-Wing was pulled into the space stations's hanger bay.  Feldheimer tried to hide from the hangar deck stormtroopers by ducking down into the cockpit.  The troops were careful not to approach, sensing a trap.  Lieutenant Bleedy Crotchsore was on his way through the hangar in order to assume his watch as the Main Laser Countdown Announcer but decided to take a closer look at the situation. Against the advice of the stormtroopers, Crotchsore climbed a ladder and opened the X-wing cockpit.  Suddenly, Feldheimer let out a loud piercing bitch scream that startled Crotchsore, causing him to fall off the ladder and break his neck.  The other stormtroopers shot Feldheimer in the forehead.
800px-Owen Luke

Owen Lars asks if that is Osborne Cox over there. Luke doubts it, but humors the old man and nods.

It turns out that Crotchsore, missing his shift in the Main Laser control room, was hastily replaced with Ensign Dingo Fleeceman. Fleeceman had a nervous tick which manifested itself as a tendency to repeat things unnecessarily.  A short while later, when Grand Moff Tarkin gave the order to activate the main laser and destroy Yavin, it was Fleeceman that was making the sequential announcements.  The penultimate order of "Standby" was to be followed with "Fire!", however he ended up repeating "Standby".  The Death Star Gunners were momentarily confused and hesitated as the official order to fire was not yet given.  In that instant of confusion, rather than annihilating the Rebellion in one stroke, the delay gave Luke Skywalker the precious seconds he needed to fire off the Shot Heard 'Round the Galaxy.

For his actions, Feldheimer was posthumously awarded the Croix de Osborne.

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